Brendan Kwiatkowski, Ph.D.

Brendan is a researcher, speaker, consultant, and educator specializing in the social-emotional development and wellbeing of boys and men, also focusing on how this intersects with the wellbeing of others.

His interdisciplinary research spans psychology, sociology, and education. In 2023, Brendan earned his Ph.D. in Education from the University of Edinburgh, with a study on the emotions, masculinities, and schooling experiences of Canadian teenage boys.

As a mixed-methods researcher, Brendan firmly believes in positive-focused and person-centred research. His approach seeks to humanize and empower participants, giving voice to their lived experiences. He is dedicated to making academic knowledge accessible to all, as well as conducting research that is transformative and practically useful in the “real-world.”

Before pursuing his Ph.D., Brendan taught psychology, history, biology, and social justice as a secondary school teacher near Vancouver, BC. In 2016, he received his MA in Special Education, during which he created and led a yearlong social-emotional intervention program for boys with diverse behavioural needs.

Brendan is a consultant for both non-profit and for-profit sectors, helping clients better engage and support their male audiences, clientele, and employees. He also works with school districts and individual schools (both public and private) to develop and implement context-specific action plans and resources to better support students’ social-emotional wellbeing. This often involves addressing specific challenges and concerns districts, schools, and staff face, particularly regarding their male student population.

As a speaker, Brendan addresses topics such as emotional intelligence, resiliency, mental-health, masculinity, gender equality & justice. He offers engaging talks for broader adult audiences that provide realistic pathways for self and societal transformation. Additionally, he delivers targeted workshops for educators and parents to help them better understand and equip them with skills to support boys’ development and wellbeing, and speaks and leads workshops for middle and high-school students.

Brendan also teaches gender, psychology, and education courses at the university level and is currently a lecturer in the Faculty of Education at the University of the Fraser Valley, BC.

Some of the things that Brendan enjoys include nature, breathwork, cold plunges, freediving, quality conversations (especially at night), and music. This list does not include journalling, but he reluctantly admits it’s incredibly important to him as well. He is a husband and a father to three young children—they are some of the best mirrors and catalysts for his own healing.

RESEARCH INTERESTS INCLUDE:

For a more personal glimpse into Brendan and why he got into this field, you can read a bit of his story below.

"The Manly Way"
by Brendan K (2018)

When I was a kid, my cousin and I discovered “the manly way.”
Instead of walking on the sidewalk we’d jump across the ditch
And yell, “This is the manly way!”
—Encouraging and taunting the other to follow so that they can also prove their manliness.
It was harmless fun, we were both pretty equal and when one would take the manly way
the other was sure to follow.
But I remember one time when our friend didn’t take the manly way with us.
He didn’t want to climb the tree, even when we warned him that this was the manly way!
And when he told us that his mouth was sore, which was why he couldn’t climb the tree,
We heard, “I’m not man enough to take the manly way.”
And we felt better about ourselves by thinking less of him
…but it was harmless

Then when I was sixteen my best friend and I worked at a summer camp as counsellors
One morning our friend told us she had had a weird dream about us.
In her dream we were a married couple and one of us was pregnant with our child
But me and my best friend were both boys and not gay
And the last thing that we wanted, even in a dream, was to be the one with the child.
Because then that would have meant we were even more “girly.”
And when you’re trying to be a man,
Girly just won’t do.
So that dream started a real-life competition about who was less feminine that the other.
For the next 8 years,
When one of us would do something “feminine”
the other would say
“See! He’s more feminine than I am!”
It was an ongoing joke,
I viewed the feminine like it was contagious.
And the best way to protect against it was to find someone who had it more.
People laughed, we laughed.
So I guess that meant it was all harmless.

When I became a high school teacher it was tough at times
To see how adolescents treat one another
The posturing, the insecurities, the hurt; their innocence changing to experience.
But there is always so much light to witness in these kids as well.
One of the brightest—(they say you shouldn’t have favourites but he was mine)
Ended his life
I ran into him in the hallway earlier that day
And asked how he was doing.
He said stressed
I followed up a bit more
But since he was late for class
We parted ways.

I want to be clear, I have no idea if his gender played a role in his death but here is what I do know: Men are around 4x more likely to die by suicide than women, and that gender disproportion starts being evident from around high school—which corresponds to the age when boys become more emotionally restricted. And psychological research consistently shows that the three most dangerous messages about masculinity given to males is “suppress your emotions,” “dominate others,” and “figure things out yourself, you’re alone.”

This is not harmless.

I also learned in the research that two of the greatest obstacles preventing boys and men from challenging those restrictive messages is the fear of femininity and the fear of homosexuality.
—Both of these fears were present in the “games” I grew up playing.

But I also grew up watching a true Canadian T.V. show
about a man named Red Green who would fix things with duct tape.
At the end of each show a group of men would cite this creed:
“I’m a man…but I can change, if I have to, I guess”

The audience would always laugh, but now that I’m older, I can’t find the joke in it anymore.
I hear it now as an honest reflection that change is hard but still possible.
My masculinity is still a journey, but here’s what my current creed would sound like:

I’m a man, and I will seek growth
To become aware of how what I do, or how I think
hurts people, “other’s” those around me, or hurts myself

I’m a man, and I’m enough
To know that my strength lies
In my ability to love.

I’m a man, and I will be open to change
For my masculinity is not restrictive
And doesn’t keep femininity caged.

Podcast. “Why Teen Boys Are In Crisis and How We Can Help.” Mankind Podcast, July 23, 2024.

Podcast & Write-Up. “Brendan Kwiatkowski: Connecting w Teen Boys.” On Boys, July 11, 2024.

Podcast. “Boys, Emotions, and Cultural Expressions of Grief with Brendan Kwiatkowski.” Seeing Death Clearly Podcast, May 26, 2024.

Podcast. “Dr. Brendan Kwiatkowski on Beautiful and Complex Masculinity.” Daring to Dad Podcast, May 21, 2024.

Podcast. “Dr. Brendan Kwiatkowski shares how to encourage emotional expression and development among boys.” Dear Lads with Ivan Okello, May 9, 2024.

Podcast/Youtube. “The Ignored Struggles of Teenage Boys w/ Dr. Brendan Kwiatkowski (ep#61).” Know More Know Less, May 9, 2024.

Podcast. “Dr. Brendan Kwiatkowski: Emotionality of Teenage Boys.” Hey Human Podcast with Susan Ruth, November 9, 2023.

Instagram Interview. “Dr. Brendan Kwiatkowski” on Unspoken, Untold Stories of Great People with Francoise Salameh. Sept. 25, 2023.

Podcast. “Brendan Kwiatkowski on Masculinity, Strength, and Vulnerability.” Mind the Gap Pod. Aug. 11, 2023.

Podcast. “#169 Embracing Healthy Masculinity: Empowering Boys and Challenging Norms (with Brendan Kwiatkowski, Ph.D.)” Men, Sex & Pleasure with Cam Fraser. June 22, 2023.

Podcast. “Restrictive Masculinity with Dr. Brendan Kwiatkowski,” Filled To Flourish. May 9, 2023.

Podcast. “Episode 141: Education’s Relationship with Masculinity with Dr. Brendan Kwiatkowski,” Choralosophy Podcast. March 15, 2023.

Podcast. ‘Teen Boys’ Emotional Lives,’ ON BOYS Podcast. Feb. 2, 2023.

Podcast. ‘Episode 297—Re:masculine with Brendan Kwiatkowski,” Inglorius Pasterds. May 11, 2022. Brendan unpacks the stories behind the songs of his masculinity concept album.

Podcast. ‘Episode 80: Masculinity Needs Definitions,’ Where Do We Go From Here? September 1, 2021.

Podcast/Youtube. ‘Deconstructing Faith & “Manliness,”’ God is Grey. May 17, 2021. Watch the conversation on Youtube here.

Podcast. ‘Episode 97: Masks of Masculinity (with Brendan Kwiatkowski),’ The puddcast, January 15, 2021.

News article. ‘Study of masculine emotions by Fort Langley researcher inspires music album,’ in Langley Advance Times,  November 19, 2020.

Podcast. ‘Masculinity and Education: Brendan Kwiatkowski,’ Small Conversations Podcast, February 14, 2020.

Podcast. ‘Reimagining Masculinity: Brendan Kwiatkowski,’ Everyday Amazing Podcast, February 1, 2020.

Podcast. ‘Justice Series: The Cause of Male Violence,’ Faith and Feminism, January 14, 2020.

The Literate Pastor Blog (website is no longer online). “Part 1: Gender in Church” + “Part 2: Purity Culture” - interviewee/co-author. 2019/2020.

Podcast. “Empathy for Boys” Modern Manhood Podcast. 2018.

Podcast. "MAN" The Liturgist Podcast. 2018. Guest speaker.

Langley Advance News: "Langley Teacher Aims to Help Education System Better Understand Boys"

CBC News & Radio: "Langley high school initiative helps troubled boys talk it out" 2016.

Brendan is most active in sharing educational content on masculinity, gender, and emotional wellbeing on his Instagram and TikTok accounts.